Thomas and Tillie

Transcript
Prince Charming: Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far away, the king and queen were blessed with a beautiful boy named Sir Topham Hatt. He was later sent to live on his own. And then he would be adopting the handsome Prince Charming! It was he who would chance the perilous journey through blistering cold and scorching desert traveling for many days and nights, risking life and limb. [crows caw] For he was the bravest, and most handsome… in all the land.

[gasps]

Wolf: What?

Prince Charming: Sir... Topham Hatt?

Wolf: No!

Prince Charming: Oh, Thank Heavens! Where is he?

Wolf: He's with his son.

Prince Charming: Son? Who?

[The scene changes to Thomas and Sir Topham Hatt spending father and son time together, and getting his right in court]

Thomas: Hey, Guys I'm...

James: Do you mind, Thomas? We're trying to watch something here.

Thomas: Alright, now let's see something. What are you guys watching?

Henry: Oh, I like these race speeder cars. They're speed whaters.

James: They're actually-what are they? Spray Racers.

Henry: A spray racer! Ooh, my favorite!

James: Yeah, Yeah. Uh, Henry turn off the TV.

Henry: Okay.

James: Thomas, why were you interrupting our movie?

Thomas: Oh well why didn't you say that you are watching a movie, James?

James: We were watching a movie! You should have known that!

Thomas: Hey, I just got back! Give me a break!

[fanfare]

[♪ theme to Hawaii Five-O]

Messenger: Enough, Phil.

[he clears his throat and reads]

Messenger: "Dearest Sir Topham Hatt. You are hereby cordially invited to the Island of Sodor for a royal ball in celebration of your adoption at which time the King will bestow his royal blessing… upon you and your…"

Messenger: Uh…

Messenger: "Prince Charming. Love, the King, and Queen of Sodor. aka Mom and Dad."

Sir Topham Hatt: Mom and Dad?

Thomas: Prince Charming?

Henry: Royal ball? Can I come?

Thomas: We’re not going.

Sir Topham Hatt & Engines: What?

Thomas: I mean, don’t you think they might be a bit… shocked to see you like this?

Sir Topham Hatt: [chuckles] Well, they might be a bit surprised.

They love me.

And don’t worry.

They gonna love you, too.

Thomas: Yeah, right.

Somehow I don’t think I’ll be welcome at the country club.

Sir Topham Hatt: Will you stop it?

They’re not like that.

Thomas: Then how do you explain Sergeant Pompous and the Fancy Pants Club Band?

Sir Topham Hatt: Oh, come on! You could at least give them a chance.

Thomas: To do what, sharpen their pitchforks?

Sir Topham Hatt: No! They just want to give you their blessing.

Thomas: Oh, great. Now I need their blessing?

Sir Topham Hatt: Well, if you want to be a part of this family, yes!

Thomas: And who says I want to be part of this family?

Sir Topham Hatt: You did! When I adopted you!

Thomas: Well, there’s some fine print for you! Ugh!

Sir Topham Hatt: So that’s it. You won’t come?

Thomas: Trust me. It’s a bad idea. We are not going, and that’s final!

Henry: Hey come on, Thomas! We don’t wanna hit traffic!

Gingy: Don’t worry! We’ll take care of everything.

[Everyone cheers]

Blind Mouse: Hey, wait for me! Oof!

[glass breaks]

[sighs]

Percy [singing]: Hit it! Move ‘em on! Head ‘em up! Head ‘em up, move ‘em on! Head ‘em up! Rawhide! Move ‘em on! Head ‘em up! Move ‘em on! Move ‘em on! Head ‘em up! Rawhide! Ride ‘em up! Move ‘em on! Head ‘em up! Move ‘em on! Rawhide! Knock ‘em out! Pound ‘em dead! Make ‘em tea! Buy ‘em drinks! Meet their mamas! Milk ‘em hard! Rawhide! Yee-haw!

Henry: Are we there yet?

Thomas: No.

Henry: Are we there yet?

Sir Topham Hatt: Not yet.

Henry: Hey, are we there yet?

Gordon: No.

Henry: Are we there yet?

Thomas: No!

Henry: Are we there yet?

Thomas: Yes.

Henry: Really?

Thomas/Percy/James: No!

Henry: Are we there yet?

Sir Topham Hatt: No!

Henry: Are we there yet?

Thomas: No, we're not!

Henry: Are we there yet?

Thomas & Others: NO!

Henry & Thomas: Are we there yet?

Hey, that’s not so funny. That’s really immature.

This is why nobody likes us.

All right. Your loss!

Henry: I’m gonna just stop talking!

Thomas: Finally!

Henry: But this is taking forever, and no in-flight movie or nothing.

Thomas: We're going as fast as we can.

Henry: All right, all right, I get it. I’m just so darn BORED!

Thomas: Well, find a way to entertain yourself.

[Henry sighs] [pop] [beat] [pop] [beat, Thomas is visibly getting angry] [pop]

Thomas: Oh!...

Thomas [as Sir Topham Hatt looks away and sighs]: For five minutes…

Thomas: Could you not be yourself...FOR FIVE MINUTES?!

[beat]

[Sir Topham notices Henry will pop again, and braces for the inevitable.]

[pop]

Thomas: AAARGH!! ARE WE THERE YET!?

Sir Topham Hatt [after chuckling]: Yes!

Henry: Oh, finally!

[fanfare]

[fanfare changes to Baba O' Riley]

Henry: Wow.

Percy: It's going to be champagne wishes and Caviar dreams from now on.