A Very Silly Sing-Along 2: The End of Silliness?/Transcript

This is the transcript for "A Very Silly Sing-Along 2: The End of Silliness?"

Transcript
(The story begins at an ice cream parlor that's modeled after Edward Hoppers' famous 1942 painting "Nighthawks". It's a dark rainy night. Inside, we see Jimmy Gourd as an ice cream man cleaning plates behind the counter. We also see a sleeping Larry sitting next to a glass window, alone & fidgeting. There are three almost empty sundae glasses on his table: two pink & one green. Larry appears to be having a nightmare of some kind. We fade into his dream.)

Archibald: Excuse me, I have an announcement. And as a result of the disastrous outcome of the previous silly song...

Larry: Boy is riding with cebu... (He's speaking.) Um... No wait. No wait.

Archibald: This is quite disappointing... disappointing... disappointing...

(We fade back to Larry, still dreaming...)

Larry: No. No!

(...then back to his nightmare...)

Archibald: Management has decided-decided-decided... that other performers... performers...

Mr. Lunt: 'Cause you're his cheeseburger. His yummy cheeseburger...

Archibald: Silly Songs is cancelled... Silly Songs is cancelled-is cancelled until further notice. ...cancelled... Silly Songs is cancelled-cancelled-CANCELLED, CANCELLED...

(...and back to Larry, who is fidgeting more vigrously.)

Larry: Jibee! Jibee! Jibee! Nnnnn! Nnnnnn! No wait! Nnnnnn! Jibee! Jibee!

(Jimmy begins to take notice of Larry's spastic squeaking & fidgeting.)

Larry: Nnnnnnn! Cebu! Nnnnn!

Jimmy: Hey.

Larry: Jibee!

Jimmy: Hey-hey, Mr. You okay?

Larry: Jibee! Nnnnnn! Nnnn! Jibee!

Jimmy: Mr.! Wake up, Mr.! Mr.?!

''[The title "Silly Sing-Along 2: The End of Silliness?" comes up as Jimmy rushes over to see if Larry's okay.]''


 * [The VeggieTales Theme Song begins]
 * [We fade back to Jimmy and Larry. Larry has an ice pack on his head. He also has a cup of coffee in front of him.]
 * Jimmy: You had me worried there for a while, buddy. You okay?
 * Larry: [sniffs] Yeah. I'm okay.
 * Jimmy: Well... can I getcha anything? A push-up?
 * [Larry shakes his head.]
 * Jimmy: Waffle cone?
 * [Larry shakes his head again.]
 * Jimmy: Cup full of sprinkles?
 * Larry: No. I don't need anything.
 * Jimmy: You, uh...wanna talk about it?
 * [Larry looks up then looks over at a jukebox with a TV screen.]
 * Larry: Does that thing work?
 * Jimmy: Mm-hmm.
 * Larry: G-7.
 * Jimmy: Huh?
 * Larry: G-7. Press G-7!
 * [Jimmy hops over to the jukebox.]
 * Larry: It all started a while back when I was singing this song and... Well...I don't know! It just...kinda got messed up!
 * [Jimmy presses G-7 and the jukebox was getting overheating. on comes "The Water Buffalo Song" from "Where's God When I'm S-Scared?", as the music starts. He hops away to the right. The camera zooms toward the TV.]

Lyrics
The Announcer: And now it's time for Silly Songs with Larry, the part of the show where Larry comes out and sings a silly song. So without further ado, Silly Songs with Larry.

(Larry pops in wearing an oversized cowboy hat)

Larry: The Water Buffalo Song!

(Larry smiles as the music begins)

Larry: Everybody's got a water buffalo

Yours was fast but mine was slow

Oh where'd we get them, I don't know

But everybody's got a water buffalo-oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

I took my buffalo to the store

(saloon door comes in)

Got his head stuck in the door

(puts head in saloon door)

Spilled some lima beans on the floor

Oh, everybody's got a...

(Archibald comes in)

Archibald: Stop it! Stop, stop right this instant, what do you think you're doing!? You can't say everyone's got a water buffalo when everyone does NOT have a water buffalo! We were going to get nasty letters saying, "Where's my water buffalo? Why don't I have a water buffalo?" And are you prepared to deal with that? I don't think so! Just stop being so silly!

(Archibald leaves)

The Announcer: This has been Silly Songs with Larry. Tune in next time to hear Larry sing:

(Larry pops in)

Larry: Everybody's got a baby kangaroo

Yours is pink but mine is blue

Hers was small but...

(Archibald rushes in)

Archibald: Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh! (runs over Larry)

[The rest of the song continues on full screen.]

[Afterwards, one more song played: "The Song of the Cebú" (from "Josh and the Big Wall!").]

Nighthawks (Segment #3)
''[Once the song is done, Jimmy laughs but stops when he sees Larry's stern looking face. Larry's not wearing his ice pack anymore.]''

Larry: What, do you think that's...funny?

Jimmy: Yeah. Ah... Oh. Uh... Uh, no. No. Wow. Eh, heh. That's gotta hurt.

Larry: Yeah, but it wasn't my fault! (He flops his head onto the table.) They got 'em mixed up at Foto Hut!

Jimmy: W-wow. It, uh... Heh. It-it happens. But-but it's not a big deal. So you messed up a song. It's not the end of the world.

''[Archibald, disguised as a mysterious man, and Lovey, wearing a red dress, enter the ice cream parlor. The man's face is obscured by the turned up collar of his trench coat. The man sits down and places his briefcase on the counter.]''

Jimmy: I'll be with you in a minute, folks. What you need is a Promised Land to cheer you up. (Walks over to the jukebox again.) And- and I've got just the thing. (Presses a few buttons) There. That oughta do it.

(The TV shows the title card for "Promised Land" from "Josh and the Big Wall!", as he hops away from the jukebox.)

Jimmy: What'll it be, Mr.?

[On the TV, the title card cuts to the start of the song.]

Pa Grape (from "J&tBW!"): It's time?

Scooter (from "J&tBW!"): It's time?

Jimmy (from "J&tBW!"): Did he just say "It's Time?"

Percy Pea (from "J&tBW!"): We didn't have a lot of fun in the desert ♪ ♪ We did-n't have a lot of fun ♪ ♪ in the sand

Tom Grape (from "J&tBW!"): But saddle up your cow

Percy: (from "J&tBW!") It's all behind us now

All (from "J&tBW!"): Because we're going to the Promised Land!!

[The rest of the song continues on full screen.]

[Afterwards, two more songs played: "Good Morning George (The Chocolate Factory Song)" (from "Rack, Shack and Benny") and "The Thankfulness Song" (from "Madame Blueberry (episode)").]

Nighthawks (Segment #4)
[After those above mentioned songs, Larry sniffs a little.]

Larry: Yeah. Maybe I should just try to be thankful for the time I did have with my Silly Songs. (sniffs a lot) BYE SILLY SONGS! NICE KNOWING YA... (starts to sing sadly) It isn't any trouble just to S-M-I-L-E...

Jimmy: Okay. Wrong song. Bad timing. A-ah... These'll be great. You'll see. Oh! This one is so funny! (Laughs) "You're big, I'm little..." Okay, buddy. Hang on! Daddy's coming!

[The camera zooms to the TV which shows the title card for "Keep Walking" from "Josh and the Big Wall!"]

Philippe Pea: O-oooh. Zat's a great idea. You go-head and keep walking!

''[It fades to the footage, and the rest of the song continues from there. Afterwards two more songs play: "Big Things Too" (from Dave and the Giant Pickle") and "Stuff Mart Rap" (from "Madame Blueberry"). After the last song in this section ends, it irises out serving into...]''

Nighthawks (Segment #5)
Jimmy: (Laughs) Oh, that cracks me up! Bungee bungee bungee-wungee-fungee... Come on! (Laughs until he stops laughing and notices that Larry's still not cheering up)

Larry: I hope those guys didn't get hurt falling on their heads like that. You think they got hurt?

Jimmy: Oh. Gee, buddy. I don't know. They were wearing their helmets.

Larry: Yeah. They were wearing their helmets. That's good.

Jimmy: Look. Pal. M-maybe it's none of my business, but... why are you so down? You wanna tell me what's going on?

Archibald: I '' LL tell you what's going on! (Turns to reveal himself. Larry looks shocked then looks at him angrily. He hops over to the jukebox.) Perhaps THIS will clear things up. (Looks grumpily at Larry. They both make funny faces, then looks grumpy again and selects a song: "His Cheeseburger" from "Madame Blueberry".)

[The title card for "His Cheeseburger" from "Madame Blueberry"], it fades to the start]

Lyrics
(music starts playing banjo)

Announcer: And now it's time for Silly Songs with Larry, the part of the show where Larry comes out and sings a silly song.

Archibald: (offscreen) Just a moment! Wait! Stop talking! (music stops, and Archibald Asparagus shows up with a sheet of paper) Excuse me, I have an announcement. (clears throat, and reads the paper) "Because of the high standards we on this show strive to adhere to, and as a result of the disastrous outcome of the previous silly song, management has decided to review compositions from other performers for this segment. Several songs were screened and we chose one based on the applicants sense of artistry and all around propriety." Thank you.

(Larry looks confused)

Larry: So what are you saying?

Archibald: (offscreen) I'm saying (onscreen) that Silly Songs is cancelled until further notice.

Larry: (looks behind on the bear trap) Oh, yeah?! Well, then how am I supposed to get out of this bear trap?

Archibald: I'm sure you'll figure something out.

(pea worker shows up and pulls out the new title card)

Announcer: And now it's time for Love Songs with Mr. Lunt, the part of the show where Mr. Lunt and sings a love song.

Lunt: He said to her, "I'd like a cheeseburger

And I might like a milkshake as well."

She said to him, "I can't give you either."

And he said, "Isn't this Burger Bell?"

She said, "Yes it is but we're closed now.

But we open tomorrow at ten."

He said, "I am extremely hungry.

But I guess I can wait until then."

Cause you're his cheeseburger.

His yummy cheeseburger.

He'll wait for yo-u, yeah.

He will wait for yo-u.

Oh, you are his cheeseburger.

His tasty cheeseburger.

He'll wait for yo-u.

Oh, he will wait for you.

(changes to morning)

He stayed at the drive-thru till sunrise.

He may have dozed off once or twice.

When he spotted a billboard for Denny's,

Bacon and Eggs for half price!

How could he resist such an offer?

He really needed something to munch!

Cheeseburger please do not get angry,

He'll eat and be back here for lunch.

Cause you're his cheeseburger.

His precious cheeseburger.

Be back for yo-u.

He'll be back for yo-u.

Won't be so long cheeseburger.

Oh, lovely cheeseburger

Be back for yo-u.

Oh, he'll be back for you.

Cause he loves you cheeseburger

With all his heart!

And there ain't nothin' gonna tear

You two-o apart!

And if the world suddenly ran out of cheese,

He would get down on his hands and knees

To see if someone accidentally dropped

Some cheese in the dirt

And he would wash it off for you!

Wipe it off for you!!

Clean that dirty cheese off

Just for YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!!!

You are his cheeeeeeese-burrrrrrrrr-geeeeeeeeeeeeeer...

Archibald: I thought you were going to sing about growing up in Connecticut!

Announcer: This has been Love Songs with Mr. Lunt. Tune in next time to hear Mr. Lunt say...

Mr. Lunt: ...I grew up in New Jersey.

(Camera fades to black background for a bonus short of The Forgive o Matic.)

Scallion #1: Hey, kids, have you ever been bad? (A picture of a broken vase drops from the ceiling) Do you remember when you broke your mom’s favorite vase and then stapled it back together and hope she wouldn’t notice? That was bad! (A trumpet blare plays and the picture is yanked up and replaced with a picture of a lady screaming at the sight of a snake in bed) Do you remember when you put your pet snake in Aunt Millie’s pajamas and she ran 5 miles without ever getting out of bed? That was bad too! (A trumpet blare plays and the picture is yanked up and replaced with a picture of a teddy bear being ripped up in a blender) Do you remember when you stuffed your sister’s teddy bear in the food processor and told her it got chewed up by a "giant bear-eating lizard"? And she believed it? That was really bad! (A trumpet blare plays and the picture is yanked up, then we see all 3 pictures lined up vertically.) The Bible calls the bad things we do, “sin”. & when we sin, we need to be forgiven. That’s right! (on TV) So I know what you're thinking. "Jeepers, I've been bad! How do I get forgiven?" Am I right? (onscreen) Well, moms, dads, & kids of all ages, have I got the thing for you! The new WrongCo Forgive-o-Matic. (on TV) Yes, sir! The new WrongCo Forgive-o-Matic slices dices and purees your sins away. It's as easy as this. (offscreen) Just dial up your sin here, press this button, &... bingo! God forgives you of your sin! (onscreen) But wait! There's more! Order now, and you also receive a set of Gin-Sue steak knives, the strongest knives on earth. Just listen to this.

(Henry the Potato rises on a platform from the floor)

Henry the Potato: Hi. I'm a miner from West Virginia. In the last 3 weeks, we dug 2 miles through solid granite, all with one gin-sue steak knife and it’s still going strong.

(Platform sinks down)

Scallion #1: That's right. You get the Forgive-o-Matic & the steak knives all for one low price of just nineteen-ninety-five [$19.95]. You’ve never seen a deal like this before! Isn’t that right?

(Henry rises on a platform from the floor again)

Henry the Potato: That's right.

(Platform sinks down again)

Scallion #1: So don't delay, order today. (Junior appears from behind the curtains) Operators are standing by. Remember, you get the Forgive-o-Matic and the steak knives all for just nineteen-ninety-five [$19.95].

(Music ends and Scallion #1 smiles)

Junior: Ahem.

Scallion #1: (Turns his head to Junior) Not now, kid. Can't you see I'm "busy"?

Junior: But, I know lots of people who’ve been forgiven for bad things they’ve done.

Scallion #1: Oh, yeah? Well, they must have Forgive-o-Matics then. Huh?

Junior: Nope.

Scallion #1: Well, sure! You-you can't be forgiven without a Forgive-o-Matic. Isn't that right?

(Henry rises on a platform from the floor one more time)

Henry the Potato: Stop yanking me up and down. I'm getting sick.

(Hops to the right of the screen, then crashes off-screen, causing the set of knifes to dangle, then drop onto the stage. One knife ends up on the rotating stand.)

Junior: The Bible says, if we ask for God to forgive us, then He will.

Scallion #1: Y-you mean, all you have to is... ask?

Junior: Yep.

Scallion #1: You don't need a... a Forgive-o-Matic?

Junior: Nope.

Scallion #1: Are you sure about this?

Junior: I sure am!

(After hearing the truth, knowing the product won't sell, Scallion #1 tries to improvise to convince the audience.)

Scallion #1: Did I mention that they also make great Julienne fries? Well, just drop a potato in here, uh, push the button, and presto! Out come the best fries you've ever tasted!

Junior: (Faces the camera) Oh look, it's time to go!

Scallion #1: But wait! There's more! (Runs off stage, then comes back with a tray displaying a shrub version of the Forgive-o-Matic) Just spread these seeds on here, and... and in a few weeks... (Pushes the Forgive-o-Matic off the rotating platform) Voila! (The Forgive-o-Matic rolls down and hits the floor) Chia Forgive-o-Matic. Isn't that... cute?

Junior: Say "Good night, Gracie".

(Hops off the stage just as the stage lights start to turn off one by one)

Scallion #1: Good night, Gracie.

(A spotlight shines on him, until the two final lights shut off, leaving his eyes visible in the dark, Scallion #1, finally giving up, hops away, but yelps as he ends up tripping and falling onto the floor.)

Nighthawks (Segement #6)
[After the above-mentioned a bonus short, Jimmy looks at the black background on the TV screen, then turns to Archibald.]

Jimmy: (Gasps) You don't mean...?

Archibald: Yes! It's my fault! All my fault! I'm the one to blame!

[Larry gently bangs his head on the table.]

Jimmy: That's DESPICABLE. (Larry still doing that) I'd feel that way too if somebody took my songs away.

[Larry nods in agreement]

Archibald: It's just that... I... Well... Surely you can understand my position. I was simply acting in the public's best interest. We do have standards to uphold, you know. (Jimmy looks scornfully at him) Yes. I see. Well... But then, I got these. (Opens his briefcase. Larry looks on as the rain outside stops. He pulls out a pile of papers, takes one piece of paper, and reads it out loud.) Ahem!

"We, the undersigned, believe that Archibald Asparagus should forgive and forget the "The Song of the Cebú" incident and return Silly Songs with Larry to regular Veggie programming, signed 167,512 adoring fans, including, but not limited to, the entire population of Duluth, Minnesota and even someone in Moose Lake."

Larry: Moose Lake?

Archibald: Yes. Moose Lake.

Larry: (Happy) Wow. Moose Lake.

Archibald: The people have spoken. I'm afraid I have no other choice but to hereby decree that Silly Songs is henceforth reinstated. Effective immediately! Which is what, I suppose, henceforth means. But no matter! Go on! Sing with all the silliness you can muster! (Hops onto the counter) Let the world know, yea unto its farthest reaches, including, but not limited to, Moose Lake, that this is not the end of silliness, no, quite the contrary. Silliness has just begun! (Slips and falls off the counter. Everyone stares at Archibald on the floor until his head pops up from behind.) But try not to be too silly. Please?

''[Larry gives Archibald a thumbs up look, gets up and hops over to the jukebox. He pulls out a disc entitled "Silly Songs with Larry: The Yodeling Veterinarian of the Alps". He puts the disc in. An arm of the jukebox places the disc in the player and "The Yodeling Veterinarian of the Alps" plays as the camera pans up to reveal "The Yodeling Veterinarian of the Alps" title card on the TV. It fades to the start]''

Lyrics
Announcer: And now it's time for Silly Songs with Larry, the part of the show where Larry comes out and sings a silly song.

Quartet Singers: ''Hm, hm, hm, hm. There lived a man so long ago, his memory's but faint. Was not admired. Did not inspire like president, or saint. Yet people came from far and near with their afflicted pets. For a special cure, they knew for sure, wouldn't come from other vets. Woooah-ooh...''

Larry: ''This is a song for your poor sick penguin. He's got a fever! And his toes are blue. But if I sing to your poor sick penguin, he will feel better in a day or two! Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hoo. Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-eee-ooo. Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hoo. Ya-de ya-de ya-de ya-de ya-de-ooo!''

(Penguin spits out thermometer)

Pa Grape: (to Junior) ''He's gone a little loopy, in case you hadn't heard. Here's a couple penicillin for your sickly arctic bird.''

Quartet Singers: ''Mm, mm, mmmmmm... No skeptic could explain just how, nor could one oft rebut, the wondrous deeds that went on in that little alpine hut. Some would stand in silence while some just scratched their scalps. For the curious ways of the Yodeling Veterinarian of the Alps. Woooahh-ooh...''

Pa Grape: Good news on the penguin, doc: He's up and kicking.

Kitty: Meow.

Larry: ''This is a song for your pregnant kitty. She's looking nauseous and a week past due, but if I sing to your pregnant kitty, she will feel better in a day or two! Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hoo. Yodel-leh-hee yodel-ye-dee ye-de-ooo. Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-aye-ooo. Ya-de ya-de yada-yada ya-ga-doo!''

Kitty: Hiss!

Pa Grape: (to Bob) Jump in your car, drive into the city, buy a jug of milk for your nauseated kitty. (hands Bob a coupon for milk)

Quartet Singers: ''Mm, mm, mmmmmm... The practice grew, their profits flew until one fateful day, when the nurse who did assist the doc asked for a raise in pay. The doctor pondered this a while, sat back and scratched his scalp. Then said:''

Larry: No way, Jose!

Quartet Singers: ''To the nurse of the Yodeling Veterinarian of the Alps. Woooah-ohh...''

Pa Grape: Good news on the kitty doc: She's feelin' great. Six kittens, named one after you.

Ted the Bear: Roar!

Larry: ''This is a song for your bear-trapped teddy. He looks uncomfy, think I'd be too. But if I sing to your bear-trapped teddy, he will feel better in a day or two! Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hoo. Yodel-leh-hee o-layhee oly-ooo. Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hoo. Yodel-leh-hee yaba-daba yaba-doo!''

Ted the Bear: Roar! Roar-ah-ar-ah.

Pa Grape: Oh yeah. That'll work. He's good.

Ted the Bear: (Roaring continually through background)

Larry: Yodel-leh-hee, yodel-leh-hoo! No, wait! This should work! ''YODEL-LE-HEE!! YODEL-LE-HOO!! YODEL-LE-OO!! OOO!! YODEL-OO!!''

Quartet Singers: ''Mm, mm, mm, mmm... Now the moral of our story, it's the point we hope we've made: ... When you go a little loopy, better keep your nurse well paid!''

Larry: (being chased by the bear) ''Yodel-leh-hee! Yodel-leh-hoo! YODEL-ODLE-ODLE-AYE-DE-AYE-DE-OOO! OOO!! OOO!!!''

Quartet Singers: ''Wooah! Some would stand in silence, while some just scratched their scalps, for the curious ways of the Yodeling Veterinarian of the Alps!''

Larry: (still running from the bear) YODEL-OO!

(end of transcript)